Daily Wire hits back at woke women’s products with ‘Jeremy’s tampons’

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NASHVILLE, TN—Daily Wire has hit back at yet another woke industry, this time introducing a competitor to progressive feminine hygiene product companies like Always and Tampax with Jeremy’s new anti-wake preservative Tampons.

The conservative news, film and razor company made the big announcement today, spending millions on ads and billboards across the United States.

“For just $99.99 start-up fee and an ongoing $79.99 surcharge, you can stick to waking up Tampax with our conservative pads,” said Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boreing, flanked by several models topless in a 7-minute ad that allegedly cost the company. 7 million dollars to film. He then took a bazooka and blew up a giant pyramid made out of Tampax boxes. “Don’t give your money to woke companies – buy products made in the same factories back home for a lot more money to really stick with the progressives.”

“You could say that the fight against woke corporations is in our blood.”

Boreing ended the commercial by getting into a rental Ferarri and driving over an effigy of the chairman of Procter & Gamble while firing an AR-15 into the air.

Jeremy’s tampons will begin shipping in late 2024.

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Rozella J. Cook